Reflections

Last night I had a wonderful time of worship, praising God for carrying me through this pregnancy. It's been a long, hard road, but through it all, God revealed more of Himself to me, and for that I am so grateful.

When we dedicated Riley at church well over a year ago, our church gave us a book called Sacred Parenting. I'll admit I have actually never finished it, but the premise is the same as Sacred Marriage: both marriage and parenting sanctifies us.

As I sang praises to God last night, I reflected on the ways that God has used my two pregnancies to sanctify me and to increase my faith. With my first pregnancy, God showed me that He is indeed trustworthy. I can count on Him for anything and everything. And he means what He says in His Word; He keeps His promises. With this second pregnancy, God has taught me to persevere, to continue fighting the good fight, even when I don't "feel" like it. And of course, with both pregnancies God has shown Himself to be The Great, Strong Creator.

If you're wondering why I stopped blogging last semester, it was because I was going through a tough time spiritually (and physically), questioning a lot of things about my purpose and life in general. Please don't misunderstand me here. I am ALL about transparency and being open and honest with God and others about my struggles. In fact, when I see others lean on God in the midst of their struggles, it always stretches my faith as well. It is one of my very favorite things about being a part of The Body. We never have to go through trials alone.

However, I have no idea who reads this blog and I didn't want to risk leading anyone astray. I didn't want my blog to become a sounding board for my complaints. I knew last semester that I needed to surround myself with Godly women who would gently turn my heart back to Christ, so that's what I did. And of course, my husband was amazing and was willing to spend several nights just listening to me and praying with me, until finally my questions were all answered and I could joyfully rest in my Father's arms again.

Last night's sermon was from Matthew 7, about the wise and foolish builders. You're probably familiar with it. One man wisely built his house on the rock and the other foolishly built his house on the sand. But this difference was no big deal until the storm came. Until a trial hit. Then the truth was revealed: only the man who put Jesus' words into practice survived the storm. It is how you respond in the midst of suffering that will prove if you truly believe Jesus... one reason I absolutely love the hymn "It Is Well." If you don't know the story behind that song, you should google it right now. Not kidding.

I remember Matt Carter saying once that every Believer has either just endured suffering, is currently suffering, or is about to suffer... Jesus promises that Believers will suffer. There's no way around it. But Romans 5 says that suffering eventually produces hope, which does not disappoint. Praise the LORD for that!

This pregnancy has definitely been a trial for me, but now that I'm approaching the end of it, I am more in love with God than I was nine months ago. I see His sovereignty and I am amazed that He has blessed me with another child. I know that without Christ I am a wretched sinner and without His help every day, I would not be able to do this parenting job. But with Him, it is nothing short of an honor and privilege.

Thank you, blog readers, for joining me in this journey. I ask you to praise God with me for baby Joshua, and please pray that the delivery is smooth and he comes out as a strong, healthy boy. Thanks again!